Singing To You
by Carrots And Sticks
Summary: Lovino and Ludwig's relationship, was always a strange one, for both of them. Every moment was like a song, and the song was always changing. Those songs, they always perfectly reflected the love and hate they felt for each other. One-Shots
1. I Hate Everything About You

_Song: I Hate Everything About You_  
><em>Artist: Three Days Grace<em>

Some days, Ludwig lusted; others he despised. One day, he would be head over heals in love with him, and the next, he hated him with burning passion. No matter what, his feelings for a certain Lovino Vargas went in a circle, and it irritated him. How can he hate someone he loves? Why did he love someone he hated? No doubt, Lovino felt the same, going through the came circle as Ludwig. Love. Hate. Love. Hate. An endless cycle.

"I hate you." Ludwig blurted one night, as the two relaxed on a bed. There clothes were shed long ago, and the fiery passion had burned out. All that was left was the silence, as the two were wrapped up in their own thoughts.

Lovino blinked at Ludwig's statement. The Italian's eyes moved from watching the ceiling to meet Ludwig's icy blues. He smirked at the German, something Ludwig hadn't really expected. Though, with Lovino, he really should have. But he didn't.

"That's fine. I hate you too." The Italian's tan shoulders lifted in a nonchalant shrug. It was as if he didn't even care about Ludwig, and the things they would do together. It was as if, to Lovino, Ludwig was expendable. And really, if Ludwig thought about it, he was.

The words shouldn't have stung, they shouldn't have. After all, Ludwig returned the Italian's feelings of burning hatred. But they did sting. The words stung in such a painful manor, and Ludwig did not like it. Not one bit. It hit him deep, how much he cared about what Lovino thought about him.

"Then why do we do this?" Ludwig questioned in utter confusion. "We have these little meetings full of... full of passion and desire, yet we hate each other. Why?"

"Simple." Lovino said, another shrug following after. "Because I love you."

Relief. Ludwig found relief in those words. Though the Italian's words were confusing, he was positively sure of one thing: Lovino loved him, and hated him. Lovino did both at the same time, as Ludwig did. The two hated each other, but could never go on without each others company.

"How can you love me and hate me at the same time?" Ludwig asked, inching closer to the nude Italian.

Another shrug. "I just do. And I think you can answer your own damn question. I mean, you feel the same, don't you? Because if you didn't, then why the hell would you be here?"

"I do feel the same," Ludwig nodded. "but I still cannot grasp it myself. Nor do I understand why I come back to you time after time. It's infuriating."

"Your problem, not mine." Lovino grumbled, laying back on the bed, his perfect olive green eyes glaring daggers at the ceiling.

"I hate you." Ludwig said again, pulling the Italian closer to him.

"I love you." Lovino smirked up at Ludwig.

"I love you." Ludwig retorted, his arms pulling Lovino even closer.

"I hate you." Lovino said before pressing his lips to Ludwig's.

Yes, Ludwig loved the fiery Italian. He loved to hate him; he hated to love him. The German hated everything about Lovino, yet there he was, loving the boy with all his heart. It was strange, wasn't it? But Ludwig could care less, as long as he was hated back just like he was loved back.

"I hate everything about you." Lovino said, pulling away. "Why the fuck do I love you?"

"You know I have no answer to that. But don't worry, the feeling is mutual." Ludwig answered, his voice loving.

"It better be." Lovino smirked, "Now shut the fuck up and kiss me."

"Another thing I hate about you: you're so demanding. But if you insist." Ludwig grinned, and bent down once more, claiming his lover's lips.

"And you," Lovino said in between chaste kisses. "always have to point out the obvious."

"But of course, Lovino. We do hate each other, so I have to continue doing the things you hate, right?" Ludwig smirked at Lovino, who grinned back.

"Right."

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><p>AN - Hiya~ Please leave a song you'd like for me to use, I'll be glad to do it. I already have a list right now, and I won't mind adding anything!


	2. Dirty Little Secret

_Song: Dirty Little Secret_  
><em>Artist: All-American Rejects<br>_

As time passed, it became difficult to pretend that they were getting on with their respective lives. It became difficult for them to pretend there was nothing going on beneath the surface, that they wouldn't consistently meet up in secrecy. But they persisted.

Ludwig stopped going to Lovino consistently, meeting up only a few times in the last month. it was strange for both parties, keeping secrets. Especially for Lovino. He hated having to keep up the 'I hate you!' attitude towards Ludwig, but he knew he had to. He was, after all, messing around with his brother's best friend.

"We have to stop this. We need to fucking stop this. I don't know how long I'll last anymore." It was during a meeting, while everyone took a break, when he had uttered those words. Feliciano had gone off to do who-knows-what, and nobody was around, so Lovino took hold of that opportunity.

Ludwig looked up from the papers he was examining, a forlorn gaze taking hold of him as he allowed the words to sink in. They... they upset him more then he was willing to admit. "If that is what you want, then we can stop meeting up."

"Not that." Lovino blinked, the hurt evident in his eyes. "We can't just keep it a secret anymore! I'm tired of lying to my brother, and Toni,and everyone else. I can't keep this bottled up anymore! I just can't! Why the fuck can't you realize it yet?"

Other wandering eyes watched the two, curious as to what Ludwig would do. The stocky German simply stood, silent, and leaned down next to Lovino's ear. What he had to say was meant for him, and him only.

"Do you honestly think that people wouldn't find it a bit strange if we fall madly in love out of the blew. Think about it Lovino, everyone thinks you despise me." Ludwig spoke softly, trying to be as caring as possible as he uttered such cold words. "I love you, and you know that. But for now, you'll by my dirty little secret; and I yours."

"Dirty is a bit of an understatement." Lovino whispered back.

"I know. Now yell at me, smack me, do something to make it seem like you still hate me." Ludwig smirked, his voice still loving though.

Lovino listened well. He wasted no time back-handing the German, and throwing some hollow insult at him before running off, hiding the grin that had spread across his face.

Back in the meeting room, Ludwig was rubbing his red cheek, staring in the direction the Italian had run off in.

"Ludwig?" Arthur asked, the first one to speak up. "What happened?"

Ludwig looked at Arthur and simply said, "It was just Lovino being Lovino. Who knows what I did to set him off this time."

Though, he really had a hard time stopping that grin from surfacing.

* * *

><p>AN - Me gusta.

chi komoriuta - I'd be glad to do that song. Thanks for the request.


	3. I Hate Myself For Loving You

_Song: I Hate Myself for Loving you_  
><em>Artist: Joan Jett and the Black Hearts<em>

Everytime Lovino did something stupid—from illegal things and beyond—Ludwig forgave him for everything. It wasn't like the German could help it, but even when he wanted to stay mad, he didn't find it as easy to stay mad as he was be to be with other people. Just a simple glance into Lovino's twinkling eyes and Ludwig melted under his gaze. The Italian just had that effect on him—and no matter how hard he tried to pull away, Lovino lured him back. He felt like a puppy. A kicked puppy.

Ludwig was no longer sure lovino loved him, as he had at the start of their relationship, and he absolutely hated the feeling of being unloved. it was like Lovino just didn't care anymore. Between the late night parties, if just didn't feel the same. Oh, but when it did...

When those moments wen Lovino came home and just tackled the German in a passionate kiss, no matter how angry he was, Ludwig always found himself kissing back. The night would be spent in splendid bliss as Lovino pulled Ludwig in, and the morning, all the love and passion of the night before was gone. it would just disappear into an unknown void, and Lovino would go back to his usual routine of doing who-knows-what while Ludwig tried to continue his daily life—his pride and heart practically in shambles.

It felt—and somewhere deep inside Ludwig knew this wasn't just a feeling, it was what was actually happening—like Lovino was just using him. When he couldn't get his hands on someone that could please him, there was always Ludwig waiting on him. It was infuriating to know Lovino was capable of pulling his act together; yet the Italian did nothing and continued with his crude behavior.

And if Lovino was aware of how much he had been hurting Ludwig, he didn't show any indication that he cared. But, Ludwig knew that Lovino wasn't that oblivious, and he was well aware of the consiquences of his actions.

Just for once Ludwig wanted to switch the tables and leave Lovino waiting on him—just for the spite of it. But he was well aware he couldn't bear to see Lovino look so crushed. Plus, there was no way to be sure that Lovinow would even care what Ludwig did any longer. Base on what Ludwig had witnessed, it would seem like a no.

Now that he thought about it, it became more obvious that he should just walk away. But that didn't seem possible. Ludwig felt chained and trapped. The blond wasn't sure that he would even be able to walk away if he was suddenly free. If felt more as if he'd run back.

Ludwig was a strong person—strong spirit, strong body, strong mind, strong— but Lovino made him feel the opposite of what he was. And- and- and... he hated himself for loving Lovino.

* * *

><p>AN - Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. My writing sucks balls. Hate it.


	4. Messed Up

Lovino awoke to the sound of Ludwig slowly putting on his clothes. Lovino didn't know the time, nor did he really care; all he currently cared for was the sight of a shirtless German changing right at the foot of his bed. Ludwig glanced over at the Italian, his icy blue eyes grazing over Lovino's naked frame briefly before going back down to focus on the trousers he was pulling up around his waist.

"You're up." He commented off-handedly, plucking a black shirt from of the bed.

Lovino's olive green eyes snapped up to look at Ludwig's passive face. "Yeah. What time is it?" A yawn escaped him and he sat up, stretching his arms.

"Around twelve-thirty. Why do you ask?" Ludwig padded around the bed barefoot, and gave Lovino a chaste kiss before standing back up and stretching himself out.

"I was supposed to meet with the bastard at one-thirty. He said he wanted to spend the day together." Lovino slipped off the bed, eyes trailing around the room until they caught sight of his boxers scattered on the ground. He picked them up off the floor and pulled them on. "I still have time to take a shower."

He wished it wasn't this as easy to do anymore – to cheat on someone like that without the tingle of remorse spread throughout out his whole body. He could vaguely remember a time when he would feel pity for the Spaniard because he knew what he was doing was wrong. He could also recall how he used to feel when he thought about his brother. Sweet, innocent Feliciano who wasn't aware of what his significant other and brother where doing behind his back would be heartbroken if he found out. But one kiss from Ludwig, one heated kiss full of passion and lust sent the thought of the two into the back of the Italian's mind. He always melted in Ludwig's kisses.

"I should really get home before Feliciano wakes up and starts to wonder where I went." Ludwig glanced at the clock resting on the nightstand next to the bed. "He should be waking up soon."

"All right." Lovino dodded at the door. "Get your potato eating ass out of my house before I'm forced to kick you out."

"Oh, of course. Well, see you some other time Lovino." Ludwig quickly pulled on his shoes and stood off the bed, his hands rising up to slick back his hair. He headed to the door and nodded at the Italian who was reaching down to pick up his scattered clothes.

"Yeah, whatever." Lovino mumbled softly as the German walked out of the room.

The Italian froze, silently listening to Ludwig's shoes clank against the wooden floor of his home. It wasn't until he heard the front door slam shut that he let a grin overcome his features as he scampered into the bathroom.

Turning on the shower, Lovino took some time to look into the mirror. He was met with what he usually saw every time he had Ludwig over for the night. Disheveled hair, a few love bites scattered around his neck and chest, even a bruise or two. The Italian didn't really have a problem with the way Ludwig became when he was being lustful. It was a nice change from the gentle lover Antonio was.

Lovino thought about his current relationship as he stripped himself from his boxers and stepped underneath the stream of hot water.

Now, Antonio was a nice enough person. But he really wasn't the kind of person that suited Lovino's tastes when it came to the bedroom. The Spaniard adored foreplay and taking things nice and slow. Lovino preferred a more dominant and rough lover, and that was where Ludwig came into the picture. He was exactly what Lovino wanted in a sexual partner.

Then there was Feliciano. Lovino had no clue what went wrong in Feliciano and Ludwig's relationship that drove the German to him, and he truly didn't care to know. There was still the guilt that occasionally nagged at him when he heard his brother talk about his boyfriend.

Lovino had long before known – even before he and Ludwig got together – that the German was bad news. He supposed that with what happened between him and the blond proved him right. But he couldn't very well hint Ludwig was unfaithful, now could he? Lovino was, after all, the one Ludwig was being unfaithful with.

Lovino hated how his life had turned out, but he was aware it was his entire fault he wound up in the twisted mess he was in. He also knew there was a way to get out of the problem: Break off his relationship with Antonio, and stop messing around with Ludwig. He was planning on doing the first one soon, but it was the second part that had him stumped. Despite everything, he didn't want to stop what he had going on with Ludwig. He liked the Not-really-friends with benefits thing going on.

Sighing lightly, Lovino washed off, trying not to think of the messed up thing he called a life.

* * *

><p>AN – I do not know how this happened, I swear. It wrote itself. I didn't get any inspiration from a song; I just wanted to write something as a birthday – which is in a few days by the way – present to myself. I'm not sure how this turned in a whole affair thing.


End file.
